14
2012
Whitney’s Untimely Death: The Dark Side of Fame
An article by Cari Cole
This week is one of the highest and lowest in the music business – all within 48 hours. Starting with the death of our beloved Whitney Houston and ending with our praise for one of our new “greatest voices ever” – the unlikely pop-star that swept the Grammy’s, ADELE (Yay Adele!!). Yet, the odds of that?
This article, about the difficulty of being the “world’s greatest singer of all time” and the irony of being a star on the decline – I hope it enlightens us all and reminds us of how fragile we are.
I wrote a blog post on Sunday, the day after her death, about the brutal expectation of stardom and to perhaps send a message to be more aware of the huge responsibility placed on their shoulders.
Many blame Whitney and I can see how easy that is to do. She’s a poster child for the irresponsible star indulging in drugs who loses sight of her gift and throws it away. But perhaps there is another side to the story, one that is hidden away, one that few would understand unless they had been in her shoes.
First and foremost, I am an artist. Second, I am a mentor to thousands of artists – it’s what I do in the world. I have been privy to behind the curtain, when times are good and bad. I am sympathetic to the enormous pressure that stardom demands and to the extremely difficult fall from fame (that no one is built to survive). I have sensitive sensors towards pain, and a laser that points me to that frequency in others, even when they can’t see it in themselves. That’s part of what makes me good at my job.
I would say that the world agrees that some of Whitney’s choices – i.e., tying the knot with Bobby Brown, was the beginning of her demise – and Whitney would agree. Just Google her interview with Oprah a few years back and you’ll hear her clear assessment of the danger she was in, how she rescued herself and her daughter from the situation (at her mother’s intervention) and began to build a life for herself. However, after the plateau of her 2009 come-back record, it was plain to all that she just wasn’t returning to the golden spotlight that once revealed perhaps the greatest voice of all time; she was failing once again. Maybe that was too painful to endure this time. You know, some people are weaker than others. Some people have thinner skin around their hearts.
Now you can say whatever you want about that. You can criticize her for her weakness for alcohol and drugs (she truly was an addict, like several other stars – it’s an emotional roller coaster ride), and recently for the prescription meds that most likely were the cause of her death. But if you look behind the curtain, and you imagine what went on with her, maybe you’d be surprised to find the devastating heartbreak she was struggling with. She couldn’t hit rewind, and she couldn’t get her voice back. For someone who was perhaps the greatest singer of all time, this must have been excruciating. Perhaps this year’s Grammy’s was the final straw (another singer stepping up to the world’s spotlight.) Apparently, her behavior in the days before the awards may have been a sign that she was freaking out on the inside, more than anyone around her, or even she, realized.
Here’s what I wrote on Sunday:
“I guess the biggest thing that I want to say out of this shocking news, is what Lionel Ritchie talked about yesterday. He was talking about the pressure that artists of this magnitude feel to uphold their “superstar” status and continue to top themselves. It’s a brutal expectation placed upon them and I often wonder if it isn’t this pressure that kills them. I wonder if we can send a message, especially on the night of the Grammy’s, and in the aftermath of legend Amy Winehouse’s tragic passing this year (and Michael in 2009), a plea that we “lighten up” on the huge expectations we have of our stars (the media mainly) and be more mindful of the huge responsibility placed on their shoulders.”
Amy Winehouse perhaps couldn’t bear whether her second record would not live up to her first, so much that she took her own life?
So yes, I think the tragedy that befell Whitney is absolutely from the pressure of once being the greatest singer of all time – one that was failing. She had crossed the line of no return. It was no longer under her control – for WHATEVER reason that was. Maybe she was just “not strong enough” to live life in the public eye, and that made her make some very bad choices. Or maybe, like a lot of people in the world, she just made bad choices out of insecurity – but under the brutal scrutiny of the public eye. Either way it was a perfect storm. Some people blame those around her, or the music industry – it’s all part of it, but the real point here is, there is no one person to blame. We are all part of it. That’s why we need to re-examine stardom and what fame is. We need to lighten up on our expectations and understand when someone is struggling and pour out our love instead of our criticism.
The truth is – something that I preach and teach – is that an artist should NEVER believe their own hype. Especially because it’s really all just smoke and mirrors (the marketing and media stuff.) Truth be told, I know a lot of stars. Most of them are not good in dealing with big fame and they struggle with it. It feeds the ego, the narcissism in everyone and that is tricky business. Most people in that position screw it up in more ways than one – there is a lot of self-sabotage that goes on – including drug use. I also coach artists on the benefits of “mini-fame” instead of mega. Thank goodness there are many ways to have a successful career without your name on the world’s stage.
Imagine if you were a famous singer – the best in the world and then failed – even if it was your fault (perhaps more of a reason), it would tear you up too. It would probably be more humiliating than you could bear too. More than money or fame would ever make up for.
And – how beautiful was Jennifer Hudson’s interpretation of I Will Always Love You Sunday on the Grammy’s? It eerily struck me – the way she sang it – was a cross between her looking up at Whitney and at the same time as if Whitney herself were singing those words to us. And now taking on a completely different meaning after her death “Bittersweet memories is all I am taking with me.. I will always love you”…
Thoughts about the Grammy’s this year? There should be a rule that if you are lip synching you can’t wear a mic, and if you beat someone up you don’t get to perform on music night (sorry Chris but really?. How happy are we for Adele? So beautiful to see how real she is (and hilarious!) Thoughts about her vocals coming up in the next blog. Bon Iver – so happy to see him win Best New Artist – how cool is that! Loved his thoughtful words to worthy artists who would never grace the Grammy stage; so big of him to send that message.
But before we all move on and Whitney’s death is in the distance – let’s share some of our beautiful memories of her here … post your love and respect for the brave one who sang the soundtrack of our lives for us…
_______________________________________________________________
PS Oh and for you artists: here’s an invitation to join me this Wednesday Feb 15th for a free call where I will preach and teach the 7 steps to stardom – including mindset, and the real behind the curtain stuff of being a star.
©2012 Cari Cole, Vocal Mag, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Comments
Powered by Facebook Comments
Related Posts
The #1 Reason Musicians Fail
5 Tools in Every Master Musician’s Mindset Tool Belt
5 Steps to Momentum on the Evolutionary Path of Living the Dream
The Power to Fail or Succeed Is In Your Hands: 10 Ways to Fall Gracefully and Land On Your Feet
About the Author: Cari Cole
13 Comments + Add Comment
Leave a comment
RSS feed for this section
Subscribe
Recent Posts
- The #1 Reason Musicians Fail
- 5 Tools in Every Master Musician’s Mindset Tool Belt
- 5 Steps to Momentum on the Evolutionary Path of Living the Dream
- The Power to Fail or Succeed Is In Your Hands: 10 Ways to Fall Gracefully and Land On Your Feet
- How I Finally Rid Myself of the “Starving-Artist-Someone-Please-Come-Rescue-Me” Syndrome
i think it is alot about balance.my musical hero has never been in the spotlight for drug and alcohol use.no sex scandals,and is probably one of the megastars of all megastars,mr springsteen.a good role model,he knows that his fame is really none of his business,that it is created by our societys insane need to idolize people.he just go’s on about the business of doing what he loves,making and performing music.a good way to live.
Beautifully said Cari.
I remember watching Whitney music videos over and over again at a bar I worked at when I was 18. We were all infatuated with her voice, her beauty and her videos. It’s hard to believe that back then (23 yrs ago) music videos were still fairly new.
I watched David Foster on Piers Morgan last night talk about the cycle of fame. He said if you look back over time most of the best artists out there had a 7 year peak. After that the next round of new exciting superstars step in. The challenge for so many is trying to maintain the peak when it is not possible.
It also go me thinking of the new famous – the social media micro celebrity who often ends up in the spotlight by accident and without any preparation for how this may impact their life and their ego. I wonder what the impact of this rise and fall will be – my assumption is the curve will be much shorter than 7 years based on how quickly things change and how fickle people are today about their choices and support.
8 million people follow Chris Brown on twitter. On the night of the Grammys there were women tweeting that he could beat them no problem – what type of society is this and how must this type of feedback misguide the artist?
Hi Lisa,
Yes, we have a long way to go with this issue of “fame”. More and more, “mini” fame looks seems appealing. More under one’s control and less scrutiny. We have to grow and evolve and send our love.
Love you!
Cari
Dear Cari,
Thank you so much writing for this post. Since Whitney died, I have also been thinking about stardom’s effect on the stars themselves. Your insightful post brings up many wise points while also reminding us that Whitney was a human first. Whitney is a complex individual, as we all are. When I hear folks quick to make judgment about how Whitney or Amy died, I have to walk away because it is so easy to judge from a distance. None of us have ever walked in their shoes, and have no idea what it’s like to live their life in the superstar bubble. I did not even make the connection of one star setting (Whitney) and another on the rise (Adele), and it will be interesting to watch Adele career unfold. I am praying for Adele to keep her wits about her as her star rises quickly after her Grammy success.
I also loved how Bon Iver gave a shout out to the worthy artists that will never get to the Grammys. That touched me. I love how Bon Iver didn’t look like a star either. Substance triumphed over substance in the Grammys this year in general. Glenn Campbell rocked the house, didn’t he? I don’t know about you, but I was singing “Rhinestone Cowboy” right along with him on my TV, fists raised and everything! How wonderful for him to get recognition while he’s still alive to enjoy it.
As for Whitney, her voice and presence will not be soon forgotten. While I hadn’t originally considered her one of my musical influences, I remember spending many hours singing along with Whitney’s debut album when it came out (on vinyl – yes, I’m dating myself
Night after night, after my parents had gone to bed, I’d belt her songs into a hairbrush in the family room. Whitney’s voice then had power, range, and emotion, and learning from her records was one way I learned to sing before I began formal voice lessons. And her music was the soundtrack of many life experiences, so she was like a big sister, always there. Thank you for reminding me of her influence on so many of us.
And thank you for this heartfelt post.
Carla
Cari,
Back in the 1990s, I was introduced to your wonderful talent as an artist and teacher at the Off Wall Street Jam. There, in a little studio, I recall singing to the track of “The Greatest Love of All” recorded by Whitney Houston. She had so many gifts – her voice, her beauty, and her inner light among them. I am so saddened by her loss, by the legacy that she left her daughter, and by her own inability to believe in herself and feel the self-love that she sang about in her beautiful song.
Hey Cari,
I think you hit a lot of really solid points here, and what people often forget is just how vulnerable and fragile the human psyche is. In truth, we all are less strong than we imagine, and when life brings crushing emotional scenarios upon us, it seems often we break soon than we’d ever thought we would.
I know how much your work is about our inner world and make-up and you know how much I believe that to be the most important work and relationship to cultivate, build, and strengthen. It is just sad that it takes great tragedies to remind most people of these things.
Whitney Houston was a star who shined bright, and with that brightness, she did so much to help people become singers, heal from relationship wounds perhaps, and get through tough times in THEIR lives. So I guess I would have to feel that although she ended up paying the highest price, her life really did have a big impact on the world, and wherever she is now, I hope her spirit is at peace and can see all the good she did in the world.
I really enjoyed reading your thoughts and think this very kind of dialog is cathartic and healing to the rest of us left behind. It makes us think and reflect on our own lives, our own choices, and our dreams…or at least that’s the best case scenario
.
Sending my best your way, and my thoughts go out to all those close to Whitney who are left behind to deal with the impact and struggle of her loss.
Andrew
Thank you for your post Cari. I keep thinking about Whitney, as well as her daughter and family. I’m sure it was dreadfully painful to her to have lost her voice. I listened to her beautiful voice for years and just loved it. Her powerful, touching music will live on in my heart and millions of others hearts forever.
I have been having a lot of thoughts about the pressure put on artists in the last few days. By fans, some want “their” idol to year after year recreate the same magic and sound the same, by the media, by our ageist society. I have thought of Whitney who tried to “come back” with albums that were a reflection of her maturing self. And was not embraced. I think we as cultures that expect miracles from those we idolize need to reflect on giving back to those who through their gifts give us so much joy. Of course Whitney has a responsibility in her choices. But so do we in ours. As I see it we owed it to Whitney to accompany her and embrace her efforts and successes at reinventing herself. It’s a safe bet to say that along with millions of her fans we now wish we would have the chance to hear what she would’ve sounded like in her 50s, 60s, as long as she wanted to sing. But did we collectively, especially the tabloid driven media, put out that message when she was alive? Personally when someone has a presence, things to say, a gift, I want to know what that will sound like. I don’t care if their voice ages with them and changes. And as a society I think we cheat ourselves by not listening to artists as life teaches them and they have more to share. And insisting that their “golden voice”, and Whitney’s voice we all know is one of a kind, determine out interest in her. She gave us so much. I can’t help but feel that we failed her. RIP Whitney. Wherever you are may you experience the joy you gave us and know that that was plenty.
A side note: “mini-fame” is not new. Rather, it just went by a different name before– “cult artist.” Looking at people like Todd Rundgren, Laura Nyro, or, on a smaller scale, oddball regional artists like Chandler Travis and Jonathan Richman, there is a precedent for a career powered by a small but devoted following. The presence of the Internet only improves the tools an artist can use to achieve exactly that. Being a mini-star/cult artist is rather akin to being a character actor in the world of theatre and film. Big stars with their names above the marquee come and go, with their every travail detailed in the glossy tabloids at the supermarket checkout. Meanwhile, the less-heralded (but often MORE talented in terms of versatility) character actors keep landing roles, getting steady work for years, never going “out of fashion.” Frankly, in the long run, that seems more appealing!
Great post Cari. You’re right, we cannot judge until we’ve walked a mile in their shoes. I find as an artist’s career grows, they become more isolated and out of touch with the real world. Initially this can be dizzying and of little consequence but, it very quickly becomes a great loss of freedom and when they might normally get the chance to sit with friends at the kitchen table who’ll put their feet back on the ground or fix them up with a cup of tea rather than a hit of something illegal.
My message to artists would be to put effort into keeping those feet on the ground friends as they start to rise, if the friends will allow it. And, if the friends fade away while you spend your time on the road then to get a good Coach you can connect with who will help build your inner strength and keep in connection with that magical intuition that took you up in the first place.
I believe there is a lot of pressure put on stars by the media and by fans, but speaking from my life experience things happened in my life that every once in a while creep back up to the surface and cause me pain and anguish all reminders as to how I was treated growing up, music is my only means of escape from it and I know that if I did not have music in my life I might not have survived so if my music talent was to leave me tomorrow I have no idea what I would do, it has been a huge part of my healing in my life to get out and perform and to listen to music such as Whitney’s, it saddens me deeply that she is gone and she will be greatly missed, R.I.P. Whitney.
Hi Cari,
Thank you for this insightful reminder of what it is to maintain the impossible and how people are so quick to indulge in shadenfreude – getting off on the misfortune of someone else.
Human nature is indeed flawed, scarred and still beautiful and finding a balance in life is our greatest struggle. We are all flawed. Why do so many people feel they are above this to continue to cast judgement on the dark side of many a star’s battles.
Whitney Houston’s gift is so enormous, so powerful and so memorable. Whoever thinks she has really left us doesn’t know the feeling of eternal connectivity. Every time we hear her voice in song she will take us to that place….
Thank you Whitney for your gift to us.
Hi Cari,
Thanks for your post. It brings everything together again.
After working as an agent in the music business for more than 15 years, I’m thinking about these issues for some years now. How do artists deal with success? Can we, in the music business, learn from other fields, like world leaders, how to deal with it?
10 days ago, just before the news about Whitney spread the world, I started a blog:
Help! I’m famous. (How to deal with success)
I hope that this will help to address the problem. Thanks.